Last week I explored the ways reading is good for mental health, both mine and that of others. Today I want to explore the corresponding stresses I sometimes feel around reading.
The Pressure to Read
Like many avid readers I feel the self-imposed pressure to read many, many books. I am under no obligation to read at all if I do not want to. As a librarian, I can choose what to buy based on professional reviews and recommendations. As a blogger, I can write about whatever strikes my fancy. I am not obligated to read in either of these situations. But my desire to read ALL the books is an intrinsic pressure whether or not it makes sense.
I set a Goodreads goal for myself every year, but I set a realistic goal based on the number of books I read the previous year. I do not think this contributes to the pressure to read more. For the past few years I have bumped up the goal as the year progresses because I am reading more than anticipated. I think I can say that this number is not significant to me outside of helping me to track what I have read.
(Goodreads is the only place I record EVERYTHING I read so I can refer back and check on whether or not I have read something. A few years ago I accidentally deleted my account and lost all my records. I was bereft because I knew I would not be able to remember everything I had read over the previous five years. Now, as books pop up that others are reading or I randomly remember having read a book I add it back.)
The Avoidance of Reading
Conversely, when I find myself in a situation where I am expected to read a book, I employ avoidance tactics and read anything but the book in question. This happened when I served on the Virginia Reader's Choice committee. I would come home from our biannual meetings with a stack of books I had agreed to read as part of my role as a committee member. I would look at that stack of books for 5.5 months before jumping in to be able to speak to whether or not we should consider the books for the high school list.
This also happens to me when in a book club, which is even more ludicrous because I love being in a book club. I look forward to the opportunity to discuss books while socializing with other readers, but even so, I often put off reading the chosen book until the last possible minute.
I want to apply to be a reviewer for Booklist and School Library Journal, but I fear that as soon as books arrive that I "have" to read, I will freeze up and dread reading them even if they are books I WANT to read. This makes me hesitate to apply.
Do I Really Need to Have All These Books?
When I was a child and teen I would wait until I was ready for a new book to read before perusing the family shelves or visiting a bookstore or the library. But then, for no reason that I can identify, I started wanting/needing to have shelves of books I had not read available at all times. As soon as I discovered a book I wanted to read I would buy it or get it from the library. Then it would sit there while I read other books. Sometimes I would end up returning the book to the library or getting rid of one I owned without having ever read it because my enthusiasm waned or other books would come along that I wanted to read immediately. I have mainly reined in this tendency by creating lists of books I want to read on Goodreads or Amazon, list are much easier to weed than shelves of books. This need to have lots of unread books around has also been curbed by moving. When I had to pack up all the books I own, both read and unread, I culled my collection significantly. I discuss how I made the decision about what to keep and what to let go in this post. I also had to accept that I was wasting money buying books that I would eventually give away or sell for much less than I paid without having read them which also helped me to stop.
I Didn't Bring Anything to Read!
My last reading concern goes hand in hand with my addiction to reading. Whenever I am somewhere waiting, I get antsy if I do not have anything to read. This does not happen very often. If I know I am going to an appointment I bring a book. If I am riding the Metro I bring my Kindle. If I am driving I have an audiobook ready to go. It seems therefore that I have almost no times when I do not have anything with me to read, but it does occasionally happen. The reason any of this is an issue is because I think it is bad that I get anxious when I have to sit without reading material. I worry I cannot just sit and be. I have tried recently to sit mindfully, observing my surroundings rather than separating myself.
What pressures do you association with reading?
